Trying the Knot Read online

  Trying the Knot

  J.M. Madden

  Copyright © 2018 by J.M. Madden

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Editing by Meg Weglarz at Megedits.com

  Cover by Octopi covers

  Created with Vellum

  I need to thank some people for their help with this book.

  Hubby, thank you for understanding WHY I am a writer, and loving me in spite of it. Lol!

  Sandie, You are such a good friend and support. Thank you for being you.

  Siobhan, thank you for all the ass kickings! I really appreciate it.

  Wonder Woman, you are awesome! I won’t bother you on your vacation again, I promise! Lol!

  And to all the readers that have been as enthusiastic as I have about this project. Thank you!

  While this book can be read as a standalone, I strongly suggest that you read the first three books first. It will be this culmination book that much richer!

  Jennifer

  * * *

  Forget Me Not- Prequel

  Untying His Not- Book 1

  Naughty By Nature-Book 2

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Epilogue

  Lost and Found

  About the Author

  Chapter One

  Emily didn't like feeling like she was being stalked. Her glance roved the room, looking for cool indigo blue eyes in a square-jawed Native American face. She'd felt Jackson's gaze many times before and knew what it felt like.

  Glancing around the crowded dance floor, she tried to spot him, but it was impossible in the crush of people. Even though he was several inches over six feet, there were several other men here tonight that were just as tall.

  "You okay?"

  Emily looked at the man across from her. Kane was a nice guy, he really was, and startlingly attractive, but there was no pull there. They'd danced for a while, then fallen into some line dancing. The band that Cheyenne had hired for Chad and Lora's shower was awesome. They did covers of all genres, not just country, so that was really nice. It gave her a chance to move her body. The dress she wore swung nicely around her legs, but the heels were going to have to go soon.

  Neil never wanted to dance, even when they were alone in the apartment.

  She shoved thoughts of her fiancé away and focused on her current partner. Kane Caldwell was a handsome man, in spite of the burn scars that had taken most of the golden blond hair on the right side of his head. The injury was mostly hidden beneath his buff colored hat, but he'd shown her when they'd taken a break, as if to get it out of the way. The scars ran down his entire right side, he'd said, compliments of a roadside bomb in northern Afghanistan. His smile dimmed, then, and Emily had reached out to rest her hand on his arm.

  Dancing was good exercise, he'd told her with a twinkle in his golden eyes when he'd approached her. Emily had debated for a moment whether or not to accept, because technically, she was engaged. It was the flash of hurt in Kane's eyes as she'd hesitated that made her accept.

  And she was glad she had. Kane was a sweetheart, well-read, educated. He was only here for a little while to work on his PTSD, he told her frankly, at the Sweetwater Center.

  Emily thought it took true heart to reach for help like that, and she told him so. He'd grinned and shrugged, trying to blow it off, but she thought he appreciated her words.

  Kane excused himself at one point to get them fresh drinks and that was when the move came. Without even looking up, Emily could feel Jackson approaching her from behind. Straightening her spine, she twisted in her seat to face him. "What, Jackson?"

  Jackson Windwalker gave her a sardonic smile, his full lips curling. He dragged Kane's chair away from the table and spun it around, straddling it. Such a Jackson move. "Hello, Emily. I was hoping for a chance to meet your fiancé tonight."

  She laughed and looked around at the scene so that she didn’t have to look at him. People dancing, liquor flowing, country western music pounding from the speakers, and best of all, it was in a barn. Neil wouldn't be caught dead here. Emily could understand it was a long drive, but even if this party had been in Houston she doubted he would have attended. This was not his cup of tea. "He had other engagements," she said carefully.

  One black brow quirked under the shadow of his hat and he looked at her incredulously. "More important than your brother's engagement party? Has anyone even met Neil yet?"

  "No," she said, narrowing her eyes at him. "I know what you're getting at. He is a completely real man, Jackson. He just had other obligations."

  "Hm," he murmured, stroking a broad hand over his chin. "Have you given him enough notice to attend the wedding? I mean, that's two and a half months away."

  "He'll be at the wedding," she snapped, totally not believing her own words.

  Neil Shepherd lived and breathed Houston real estate, always on the lookout for the next hot deal. It was a constant source of aggravation for her. Yes, she worked a lot too, but she made time for the relationship. Every minute from Neil was only grudgingly given.

  "And how about your own wedding,” Jackson probed. “Have you set a date for that?"

  She smiled sweetly, refusing to let him see her frustration. "Not yet."

  Kane returned then, grinning at her, handing her a glass of champagne with raspberries like she liked. Emily took the glass and turned to introduce the two men, but Kane had already stuck his hand out to Jackson. "It's nice to see you again, Jackson."

  "Kane."

  His expression looked calm, but Emily thought she'd heard a bit of anger in Jackson's deep voice. Normally, very little ruffled him, and she wondered what the poor guy had done.

  Kane pulled a chair from a neighboring table and the men began talking.

  Emily sipped at her champagne and turned to look at the seated crowd. Dinner had been eaten, as well as dessert, and they'd moved onto the drinking and dancing and yarn spinning. There were many locals here, most of which she knew, but there were just as many new people here, friends of Chad and Lora's she assumed.

  Some of the pairings were a little comical. The former model Lilly Carmichael, one of Chad's friends, was seated with Marlene's Naughty Book Club, nodding and laughing. Her handsome fiancé, with his rakish eye patch and piratical look, stood behind her chair stroking her shoulders. Emily wanted to talk to the woman herself because she designed stunning clothes.

  There was a truly intimidating man over against the wall that had scowled at her when she'd walked in, and it had taken her aback, even scared her a little. The man was serial killer material. But right now he held Chad's soon-to-be stepdaughter Mercy on his knee, and he was leaning in for her to tell him something, smiling slightly.

  Daddy had his head down and was talking to a voluptuous African American woman, when they suddenly burst out laughing.

  A man missing both legs had arrived in an all-terrain wheelchair, causing a bit of a stir. Chad's buddy John was talking to the man, and they were both leaning over the chair looking at the mechanics of the vehicle. John was almost falling out of his own wheelchair as he inspected the workings underneath.

  There was diversity galore in this room. She hated to even think
what Neil would say if he was here. She’d seen it play out many times. On the surface Neil would smile and do anything to get a signed contract and commission. But behind closed doors he was very critical, even insulting, of the people he worked for.

  Tipping back her glass she let the champagne roll over her tongue, and she mashed the berries with her tongue, then swallowed. When she glanced up, Jackson's gaze was on her mouth, and there was a heat in his deep set indigo eyes that burned.

  Emily placed the glass on the table with a snap and turned to Kane. "Let's dance," she said, holding out her hand.

  Quicker than a snake Jackson took that hand and pulled her up out of her chair. "Thought you'd never ask."

  Emily had a moment to see Kane's glowering expression before Jackson tugged her through the crowd. "That was rude," she snapped.

  "No, it wasn't. You haven't seen rude."

  Then they were at the dance floor and he was pulling her into his arms.

  Emily could have wept at the feeling of her body against Jackson's again. She slammed her eyes shut and fought to control her breathing as he led them into a slow dance.

  When they'd been together years ago, he'd refused to dance with her, saying it wasn't a manly thing to do. Over the course of their short, volatile relationship, though, she'd taught him. It was obvious he remembered everything.

  "This brings back memories," he rumbled. "Why won't you look at me, Emily?"

  Hardening her heart, she opened her eyes. Jackson's jaw was above her head, his beautiful, burnished copper Native skin millimeters from her own. His skin had fascinated her, because it was so beautiful, like caramel that had melted in the sun. Totally ready to be licked. It had taken him a long time to believe her because it had been a source of ridicule all his life. Compared to other Apache Indians, his skin was on the pale side. His thick black hair was drawn back into a low tail tonight, not in his normal braid, and she curled her fingers into her fist. There would be no touching tonight. No more than they had to for this dance, then she was going back to her table.

  Jackson's hand tightened on her side as he guided her across the floor, and occasionally his hips bumped into her own. Emily thought it was an accident at first, but he did it several more times. "Stop it, Jackson," she snapped.

  He chuckled, breath puffing against her ear as he pulled her closer, her breasts against the iron wall of his chest. "We used to be so good together, Emily."

  Yes, they had. She would admit that. But it was years in the past. She'd moved on with her life and career. No matter how good he felt, she had other obligations.

  He rubbed against her again and she realized that it wasn't his hip. "Jackson," she hissed in warning, her cheeks flushing.

  But he merely tilted his head sideways, blocking them from other people's gazes. "Yes, Emily," he breathed into her ear.

  A shiver coursed through her and she could have cursed. She wasn't supposed to show any reaction to him, but the touch felt so good. Just like it had been so long ago. Both of his hands gripped her hips, and there was no denying what was between them now, pushing her back. Emily had a moment to wonder where he was guiding her before a door opened behind her and they slipped through.

  Emily hadn't even known this door was here. Glancing around, she saw they were in the stall area of the barn. It was dimly lit, horses moving softly in the bedding. "We can't..."

  That was all she got out before his mouth took her own.

  Emily should have known this was coming. Jackson did not give up easily and her being with another man just didn't jive with his possessive issues. Though she'd been gone years, he still considered her his.

  Moaning, she tried to pull away, but he angled his head again, sweeping his tongue into her mouth. Oh god, he tasted sublime. For the barest moment, she allowed herself to enjoy the kiss. Her knees quivered and she almost lost her balance.

  Then one of his hands glided down her back to cup her ass, pulling her tight against his erection. Arousal flooded through her, making her slick with want. Emily dug her fingers into his shirt, not sure if she was pushing or pulling away. Neither. Both.

  She couldn't do this. This wasn't part of the plan. Straightening her arms, she pushed at his chest. Slowly, he pulled his mouth away, but he was grinning.

  "You might be able to fool everyone else, Emily, but you can't fool me. If I slid a finger inside you right now you would be wet and throbbing, and I could make you come in seconds."

  Fuck, he was right. She was throbbing. Aching. Trying desperately to remember why this was a bad idea.

  Oh, yes. Neil.

  "I'm engaged to be married, Jackson."

  His white teeth gleamed in the darkness. "Not for long."

  Turning, he walked past the stalls and out of the barn.

  Chapter Two

  Lora wandered through the barn in the morning light, her hand drifting over one of the tablecloths. It had been a late night last night. She'd drank more champagne than she’d ever had before and her head was a little muddled today. Chad had imbibed as well, but he seemed perfectly fine as he talked to Jackson on the other side of the space. Jackson looked fine too, though she couldn't remember seeing him drink at all. Probably smart. And surely that was why he looked so vital and energetic today.

  Lora glanced to the fabric shrouded doorway. Emily looked a little worse for wear. Lora knew she'd had several glasses of champagne last night, then disappeared partway through. She was worried about Chad's younger sister. It was obvious she and Jackson had unfinished business. The two of them kept staring at each other, then glancing away when the other looked up.

  Emily glared at Cheyenne as the tall woman tossed glass bottles into a recycling bin, lifting her hand to her forehead as the bottles clunked and clinked. Ah, she must have a headache, too and her sister apparently didn't care.

  They'd all agreed to meet this morning to clean up the aftermath of the party. It only seemed fair. Brock, Payton and Cheyenne had put so much time and effort into it. It would suck to be stuck with the cleanup as well.

  Lora picked up one of the little vases of flowers. She hated to throw them away.

  "Maybe we can take them over to the nursing home or something."

  Lora smiled up at her handsome fiancé, not surprised that he knew what she was thinking. "I think that would be a wonderful idea. No sense in wasting their beauty."

  Leaning forward he wrapped his arm around her neck and leaned down. Lora could see every pore in his skin, every whisker that the razor had missed, and every bit of love in his eyes. "You are the beauty," he told her softly.

  She smiled, because she simply had to when he looked at her like that. They'd danced and partied into the early morning hours, then escaped to their room where they'd loved each other into exhaustion.

  It had been such a perfect day, a perfect night.

  Now, it was time to clean up.

  Cheyenne and her girls were giggling and throwing berries at each other. Lora smiled as Mercy was pinged with a blueberry and she snorted with giggles. Before long the girls were running around pelting each other with fruit, while the adults paused in their work and watched, smiles on their own faces. When Chad was pelted by all four girls, Lora ducked out of the line of fire. Chad took off after them like a shot, tickling and terrorizing. At one point a chair caught his prosthetic leg, but he righted himself and raced on after the girls. They disappeared through the door.

  "He's as much of a kid as the rest of them are," Cheyenne murmured from beside her.

  Lora laughed and nodded. "You have no idea."

  "Oh, I bet I do. Does he still like those stupid late night cartoons?"

  Wincing, Lora nodded. "He does. I can't stand them. I'll hear him talking in the night and he and Zeke are watching the damn thing together, then comparing notes over the phone."

  Cheyenne shook her head. "Just don't let Mercy watch them. They're kind of raunchy."

  Sighing, Lora wondered if she should just turn off the cable now. If Chad l
oved something, it was almost a guarantee that Mercy would as well. That would have to be a fight for another day. She was in too good a mood to deal with it right now.

  Cleaning up that day wasn't as hard as she imagined it would be. Most of the men and their families that had driven down for the shower had stayed. Chad planned on a couple of excursions with anyone that wanted to take part. Mid-morning, about ten o'clock, a group of them were going horseback riding. Then later in the afternoon there would be a trip out to the Oasis, as well as a barbecue lunch. Lora had tried to get in on the planning, but it was already done.

  "The men can cook the meat and we'll have the sides and drinks in the coolers. It's all done," Cheyenne reassured her.

  Lora would have to take her word for it. They'd all done such a perfect job so far.

  Gathering the armful of flowers she had accumulated she crossed to where Shannon was sitting, her feet propped onto a chair in front of her. Shannon was bundling the flowers into groups to be taken to the nursing home by one of the hands. Her long hair was drawn back into a ponytail and she looked totally adorable with strips of fabric laying over her belly to be used for the tying.

  Everyone had been watching John's wife carefully, because she was so heavily pregnant. She was literally due any time, and with twins there was no telling if she would be early or make it to full term. Lora hoped she would be a little early from her due date just because Shannon seemed so tired from carrying her heavy belly. "Are you doing okay?"

  Shannon grinned up at her and nodded. "I am! I love it when we can all get together like this. Yes, the party was fabulous, but I can actually talk to people today without yelling over the noise."