Embattled Christmas Read online

  Embattled Christmas

  By

  J.M. Madden

  Copyright © 2014 by J.M. Madden

  All Romance Ebooks Edition

  Cover Design by James, GoOnWrite.com

  Editing by Mary Yakovets

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it and purchase your own copy. Do not take part in piracy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Any logistical, technical, procedural or medical mistake in this book is truly my own.

  Acknowledgements

  I’d like to recognize all the readers that wait so patiently for my books. No, this isn’t Preston’s or Duncan’s, but I have a feeling you’ll love it anyways. And yes, they are coming!

  Hubby, I love you dearly!!!

  Madden Militia, you ladies are THE BOMB. I appreciate the support more than I can ever tell you. Thank you betas: Mayas, Sandie, Mistie, Andrea, Anima, Michelle, Karen, Rebekah and Margaret. And thank you Mary for rocking the edits!

  Robyn and Donna, my buds…Love you girls!

  Dedication

  As always I have to dedicate this to my husband. Without your support and never-ending understanding these books would have never happened. I love you dearly…

  Table of Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Acknowledgements

  Dedication

  Author Note

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Other Books by the Author

  Connect with J.M. Madden

  About the Author

  Author Note

  I wanted to clarify a potentially confusing point in the story.

  I had a glitch in my timeline I had to figure out how to correct. Though Her Forever Hero was released several months ago I have had to go back in time just a little bit with Grif and Kendall’s relationship. Baby Jameson is only a few months old in this book and Kendall is not yet pregnant with baby number two.

  When you read the book I think you’ll understand why I had to shift back in time a little.

  Once the book has been out for a while we can talk about it in the Lost and Found Discussion Group on Facebook. You can join us there!

  Happy Reading!!!

  Jennifer

  Chapter One

  ‡

  John blinked at the look of rapture on Shannon’s lovely face, turned to look up at the towering float overloaded with lights. “Oh,” she sighed. “Look how pretty it is.”

  She glanced down at him with expectation on her face and he couldn’t help but nod and smile. He didn’t get the whole Christmas thing. In the foster homes they barely even recognized the holiday. There was never enough money in the budget. They hardly had enough to eat, let alone get presents.

  It was a commercial holiday blown out of proportion by stores to get people to spend money. He wasn’t going to tell Shannon that though. It would break her heart. He was willing to go along with whatever she wanted as long as it made her happy.

  That’s why they were in downtown Denver watching the Parade of Lights. Rather than a regular date night he’d decided to brave the crowds and difficulties of traveling into the city for her. One of the five million commercials for the spectacle had been playing one night and she’d murmured that it seemed like it would be a fun thing to do. He’d known by the wistfulness on her face that he had to take her.

  And he didn’t regret it. Even he had to admit that her joy and eagerness to see what was coming next was a little contagious. He didn’t like all the people or the crowds, but his anxiety was manageable.

  Shannon turned to watch the next float come into sight. John tugged at her hand and she dropped down to his lap. They were on a little bank but the chair brakes were set. As her easy weight settled to his lap he marveled that she was still with him. It had been an interesting year, full of adaptations on both their parts, but he knew for a fact he had gotten the better end of their relationship. Shannon was amazing, showing him how to love more deeply than he ever could have imagined. No matter what his mood, she always greeted him with a smile and a kiss.

  That was why he was worried. Over the past month she hadn’t been greeting him the same way. There was a hesitancy to her demeanor that was driving him crazy and he felt like his little piece of heaven was slipping away. The excitement in her eyes tonight though, was totally different. It made him wonder if he’d been reading more into her actions than was actually there.

  Shannon turned her face up to his and he dropped a kiss to her smiling lips. She responded with enthusiasm, kissing along his jaw and neck. The soft cotton of her hat brushed against his cheek as she rested her head on his shoulder. “I love you, John.”

  His arms tightened around her, bulky coat and all. “I love you, Shannon. You are everything to me.”

  When she lifted her head, tears had filled her eyes. “I know I am. I still love to hear it, though.”

  John tightened his jaw at the tiny criticism. No, he wasn’t as demonstrative as Zeke was with Ember, or even Chad and Lora in their new relationship, but he felt like he’d grown a lot since he and Shannon had gotten together. He told her he loved her every day pretty much and made sure she didn’t want for anything.

  She turned her head back to the band coming down the street, her expression lightening. John locked his arms around her and wondered why he felt so unsettled.

  *

  Shannon eased back into the cradle of John’s embrace and tried to be enthusiastic about the Parade of Lights. It had taken a lot of gumption for him to bring her down here and he needed to know that she appreciated it. John was a homebody. He would be content staying in every night, cleaning his guns or tinkering with some electronic device. They went out with the other LNF couples sometimes or down to Frog Dog, but even that was not very often.

  In the past year John had really changed. For the better mostly. Yes, he was vigilant but not like he used to be. After all the mess last year with Wilkins stalking her and Lisa arranging Shannon’s kidnapping, they were allowed to be vigilant for a while. It gave them peace of mind. But Shannon had reached a point when she was no longer comfortable being on camera. They’d adjusted the ones in and around the house. The inside ones were gone. She’d put her foot down on that and it had been their first major disagreement. She’d compromised by letting him keep the cameras up on the outside and putting a couple of sensors on the driveway. He’d grumbled that her safety was at stake, but she had had to remind him that at that moment it wasn’t. In a few years when Gerbowski went up for parole they’d think about beefing it up again.

  John had been pissed for several days and watched her more than normal, but they’d eventually settled into an easier relationship. Shannon was still waiting for him to pop the big question though.

  She knew John wasn’t one for a lot of romance. He seemed genuinely surprised that she was still with him. But she was traditional enough that she wanted the whole enchilada—engagement, marriage, kids. If they followed John’s plan nothing would change.

  She’d begun to drop subtle h
ints that she would like more, but he was either oblivious or chose not to hear her. Luckily she had some amazing supporters at work. The guys asked him all the time when they were getting married. But maybe that was part of the problem. He’d been put on the spot so many times he was tired of the question.

  This Christmas things were going to change. The annual LNF holiday party was next week. Maybe she would propose to him. Something needed to happen soon!

  As the parade began to pull to a close she played with the skin of his neck, down to the V of his flannel shirt to tug at the dark hair.

  Chapter Two

  ‡

  Chad frowned in consternation. “You did what?”

  Mercy blinked up at him, her big green eyes swimming in tears. “I told Mrs. Caldora that she smelled like horse butt.”

  He clamped his jaw shut in an effort to choke down the laughter, but he knew he had to be turning red. “And why did you tell her that?”

  Mercy looked down at her twisted fingers in her lap. “She does. She tried to make me say something and I wouldn’t tell her.”

  Chad frowned as her sweet little voice trailed away. Checking the rearview mirror he pulled into a bank lot and parked. This was going to take his total concentration. Turning off the ignition he twisted toward her. “What’s going on, little miss?”

  Mercy glanced out the window, then back down at her whitening fingers. Chad reached out and rested his hand on hers, stilling their movement. He gave her a squeeze of encouragement. “You know you can tell me anything.”

  One tear dripped down onto their clasped hands and Chad felt his heart clench. He was three seconds away from snatching the little girl out of the seat and crushing her in his arms. But she needed to talk obviously, or she wouldn’t have brought it up.

  “She asked me where my father was and I wouldn’t tell her.”

  Chad frowned at the way she phrased the sentence. “Okay. That’s completely your business.”

  She looked up at him as if waiting for him to say more. When he didn’t she pulled her hands from under his and crossed her arms, glaring.

  “What?” he asked.

  She shook her head and turned to look out over the snowy landscape. Chad could tell by the mutinous set of her chin that she would not say any more. She was so much like her mother like that.

  “You only have one more day before Christmas vacation. Do you think you can tolerate her that long or do I need to come in and talk to her?”

  Mercy set her blond ponytail to swinging as she shook her head, still staring outside.

  Chad ran his hand through his hair, trying to figure out where he’d gone wrong. They’d been together for just a few months, so he was still wading through female sensibilities and trying to make a spot for himself in their little family. It had been a work in progress.

  Reaching into his pocket he offered her a package of Smarties, but she turned away without taking it.

  Frustrated, he shoved the truck into drive and pulled out of the lot. He’d have to ask Lora what was going on.

  *

  Shannon began to plan.

  If John was going to be so thick-headed she would just have to start leaving him more obvious hints. Pretty sad considering he was an investigator.

  She bought a wedding magazine at the grocery store that night on their way home. When he unloaded the bags and put the food away he paused at the magazine, then set it on the end of the counter. Shannon caught the movement out of the corner of her eye but refused to say anything. Unfortunately, John didn’t say anything either.

  Shannon wondered later if she should have said something because the anxiety was really starting to weigh on her. John knew what she wanted. But he didn’t think a marriage between them would work out. As she stuffed laundry in the washer she muttered to herself about ignorant men.

  John rolled into the doorway behind her. “Are you okay? You seem tense.”

  “I’m fine,” she snapped. “Just tired.”

  For the briefest second she debated blurting out that she was going to have a baby, but her better sense slowed her down. If she told him she was pregnant, he would immediately offer to marry her. Yes, she wanted marriage. Desperately. But not because of a baby.

  The thoughts chased around in her head and she sighed. She really was tired. So far she hadn’t had any of the nausea she had expected being pregnant, but she’d been nodding off almost constantly. The bed called to her but it was only a little after six.

  John rolled farther into the laundry room. “Why don’t you go lie down? I can do this. I hope you’re not coming down with something.”

  Shannon looked at him, surprised. He never did the laundry if he could avoid it. Unwilling to look a gift horse in the mouth, she softened enough to smile at him a little. “I would really appreciate that, John.”

  As she walked past him she paused long enough to press a kiss to his close-cropped black hair. He grabbed her hand and tugged. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips. Worry had narrowed his dark eyes. “I’m okay, John.”

  I’m just pregnant and unmarried. And you’re oblivious.

  She escaped to the bedroom and curled up on the bed. Gray Cat had already claimed her side so Shannon curled around her. Almost as soon as her head hit the pillow she was gone.

  *

  John watched Shannon’s narrow back disappear through the doorway. She was freaking him out.

  Women were intriguing, befuddling, confounding creatures. Things had been going good for them for a long time but suddenly he was floundering in heavy currents and didn’t know which way was up. The sensation was familiar. He’d been deployed overseas several times. More than once they’d ended up in the ocean, either for training or rescues. Marines weren’t trained as heavily as the SEALs in water rescue, but they needed to know the basics when they were deployed on the heavy carriers.

  Right now his lungs were demanding oxygen and his equilibrium was fucked.

  For the better part of a year he’d been basking in Shannon’s loveliness, her good-hearted acceptance. He’d blindly thought they were settling into a life together, but maybe he’d been deluding himself. The doubts had begun to move in over the past couple of weeks. Maybe he wasn’t enough for her in bed. Maybe putting up with the wheelchair and all of his restrictions were more than she wanted to deal with. Fuck. Maybe he wasn’t doing enough housework…

  As he thought about the past year he had to admit that contentment had made him a little lazy. But Shannon didn’t seem like she would be upset over housework. It had to be something deeper.

  Once he folded everything from the dryer he slipped into the bedroom with the basket. Gray Cat blinked at him from the shelter of Shannon’s arms but she didn’t move. And neither did Shannon. He set the basket at the end of the bed and left the room.

  She slept all evening and through the night. If he hadn’t crawled into bed and watched her himself John would have thought she was sick. The next morning she woke up bright and chipper and seemingly oblivious to his concern. She packed their lunches and stroked the cats before they climbed into the truck and headed to work. As soon as he could do it he rolled into Duncan’s office.

  His buddy looked up at him, brows raised. “What’s up, big man?”

  John stopped at the front of the desk and sighed. “Something’s up with Shannon and I’m not sure what.”

  Duncan slid the new glasses from the bridge of his nose and pinched the area with his thumb and forefinger. “What’s she doing?”

  Guilt ate at John. Duncan had a lot of stuff on his plate right now. Hell, it was just after eight in the morning and it looked like he’d been working for hours. “I don’t know. I can come back later.”

  Duncan waved a hand and tilted back in his office chair. “Nah. I need the break.”

  Still, he hesitated. It used to be so natural for him not to say anything about what was going on his life, but again, he’d gotten comfortable. Chad and Duncan were friends and he didn’t want to
take them for granted. They were dealing with their own personal issues.

  “I don’t even know what I’m concerned about. She slept through the evening and night last night. She said she was tired from party planning and she went to bed at six! I’ve never seen her do anything like that. But when I asked her if she was okay she said she was. This morning she acted like nothing had happened. But over the past several weeks she’s really been on edge.”

  Duncan nodded. “I have noticed that, actually. She hasn’t been herself.”

  Yes! Somebody had noticed it besides him. “I’ve asked her what’s going on but she won’t tell me. I don’t know if it’s connected to Christmas or what.”

  “Well, her family is coming just before New Year’s, right? Maybe she’s concerned with that.”

  John shook his head. “No, their visits don’t stress her out. I wonder if my impatience with the holiday is putting her off.”

  Duncan’s dark brows rose. “You make no bones about it being a commercial farce. Maybe you’re raining on her parade.”

  John rocked back in his chair. Could it be that easy? No. He had a feeling there was more to it than that.

  “Maybe,” Duncan told him softly, “she’s hoping for a special present this year.”

  John blinked at him. “What kind of present?”

  “An engagement ring. A commitment.”

  He scowled and rolled away. Making a circuit of the room, he ended up in front of the tall windows looking out over the Denver skyline. Snow fell softly to the ground, adding to what had already been shoveled away on the sidewalks and roads. It had been coming down steadily for two days now. Even clear out here in the industrial district lights twinkled merrily from tree limbs and bushes.

  Shannon was a strong, self-sufficient woman. Did she need marriage so badly that it was upsetting her? He really didn’t think so.